Stop waiting to feel ready: Why confidence and motivation are overrated

We’ve all heard it before, “I’ll start once I feel more confident.” Or, “I just need to get motivated.” These phrases sound harmless, even responsible. But they’re often the very reason people stay stuck, doing the bare minimum, waiting for a feeling that may never come.

I recently watched a TED Talk that challenged this mindset head-on. The speaker argued that confidence and motivation are not prerequisites for action, they’re byproducts of it. That simple shift in thinking changes everything.

THE CONFIDENCE TRAP

In the talk, the speaker shared examples of how people often delay action because they believe they need to feel confident first. They described common phrases like:

• “I want to ask for a raise, but I’m not confident enough.”
• “I’d love to switch careers, but I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

Instead of moving directly toward their goals, people detour, searching for confidence like it’s a lost passport. But confidence isn’t found, it’s built. And ironically, it’s built by doing the very thing they’re avoiding.

The speaker emphasized that they had no confidence in anything they did, they simply did it anyway. That’s the key. Confidence comes after action, not before.

MOTIVATION = MEDIOCRITY

The TED speaker also addressed motivation, calling it unreliable and fleeting. They described how people who wait to feel motivated often end up doing only what’s easy or urgent, never pushing through the hard stuff.

They gave an example from Secret Service training, where agents were forced to run at 3 a.m. with no warning. Legs burning, lungs on fire, no one was motivated. They did it anyway, because the mission mattered more than the mood.

“If you wait to be motivated in life to do something,” the speaker said, “you will do the bare minimum.”

ACTION FIRST, FEELINGS FOLLOW

One of the most powerful takeaways from the talk was this, the very things people wait for, confidence, motivation, resilience, are created through action. You don’t become brave by thinking about being brave. You become brave by doing something scary. You don’t become resilient by healing first. You become resilient by recovering, again and again, through hard experiences.

Waiting to feel ready is a form of self-sabotage. It’s a way of protecting yourself from discomfort, but it also protects you from growth.

JUST START WALKING

The speaker also shared a fascinating study where convicted felons were asked how they chose their victims. They said they could spot hesitation just by how someone walked, timid steps, hunched shoulders, sloppy strides. The people who walked with conviction? They weren’t picked. Why? Because they projected strength through action.

You don’t need to feel strong to act strong. You just need to move deliberately, speak clearly, show up.

THE COST OF WAITING

Toward the end of the talk, the speaker reflected on a near-death experience. In that moment, one thought stood out, “There’s so much I didn’t do.” That’s the real tragedy, not failure, not rejection, but regret. Regret for the things you never tried because you were waiting to feel ready.

So ask yourself, if today were your last, would you be okay to go? Did you live fully, or did you wait?

WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY

• Apply for the job, even if you feel underqualified  
• Start the workout, even if you’re tired  
• Speak up, even if your voice shakes  
• Write the blog post, even if it’s not perfect  

You don’t need confidence. You don’t need motivation. You need to start.